I am OFFICIALLY finished with one summer class. All eight papers are complete, two asynchronous discussions have been answered and responded to. I am DONE!!!!! Good feeling. Now, I have 2 presentations to give on Wednesday and a final exam on Thursday. Life is good. On Thursday at noon, I will have two more courses in the fall and I am considered ABD - All But the Dissertation - translation - I am DONE with coursework - FINITO! All I have left after December 15ish is to complete my dissertation - easy stuff - just kidding. Most doctoral students stop at the ABD mark - why - they loose interest in finishing their dreadful long dissertation. I REFUSE to let that happen. If I have to take an educational leave of absence from work, I will. I REFUSE to not graduate on May 10, 2008 (the day after my 36th birthday - what a present).

One quick note - Sydney is doing a little better. I am still freaking out about the shots.

Until next time!

The Moral Character of Learning

The moral character of learning - both for the healthy constructing of ourselves and for the reverential reconstructing of our world - is equally important to the intellectual mastery of knowledge. Neither aspect of learning - its intellectual or its moral character - can be authentically engaged without the other.

To the world you may be one person, to one person you may be the world.

We picked up Sydney from the vet hospital today. She was in there for three days. I am a little more receptive to this new "change" in my life. I have always enjoyed my lifestyle - get up on the weekends and do whatever I wanted to do. Now, I will be giving Sydney insulin shots twice a day for hopefully not the rest of her life. Big change, but well worth it. If she lives another 10 years, I will be more than happy to change my lifestyle.

OK - enough of the personal stuff. Today completed our first week of the summer semester of Year 3. We officially have one week and one semester left of coursework. We had Dissertation Seminar III today. We discussed the Proposal Defense in great detail. What is a Proposal Defense? It is the what, why, and how of your dissertation. It is the first three chapters of your dissertation. It is the Introduction, Review of Literature, and Methodology of your dissertation. Get it? You meet with your committee of three and "defend" why you feel your topic is important and how it will contribute to research in that field. I sort of defended my proposal back in May when I met with my committee to discuss my methodology. The meeting was to be a preliminary meeting to the "big" meeting. They were all very pleased, and with a few minor changes to my Methodology, the proposal defense is complete. Whew - big load of my shoulders.

Although the two courses I am taking this summer are geared more toward K-12 education, I am learning a great deal. Dr. W. is so passionate and enthusiastic about "supervision" and "managing the instructional environment". Although he uses supervision in the context of an educational environment, I convert his lectures (in my head) to the corporate world.

The doctoral program I am currently enrolled in is cohort based. As part of the cohort, you really get to know one another very well. I really like everyone in my cohort. I do have to say that I am fortunate to be in a classroom with such great scholars. We all respect one another. One woman decided to leave the program in the first week of the first semester. I felt bad for her, but within minutes of meeting her, I knew that she could be a thorn in our side. She freaked out on just about anything and everything. I understand that there is a lot of stress, but at least finish the semester. She had 3 days left to at least get 6 credits toward a doctorate.

Well, I am tired and it is after 11:00 on a Friday night. I spent my evening walking 4.5 miles with one of my best friends. Yep - no social life. I have to get some type of exercise in every day to keep my sanity.

Until next time!

I just read something I want to share. I think that as a parent, supervisor, educator, or whomever you are, this is very important to remember:

You do not have the moral option to choose not to learn. Choosing not to learn is choosing not to know what you will need to know in order to make a contribution to the world. Your chosen ignorance may be the occasion of an accident, the loss of life, the failure of an important project, the frustration of a community's dream, the disappointment of people who were counting on you to perform.

Source: T. J. Sergiovanni & R. J. Starratt, Supervision: A Redefinition

Two Weeks of Hell

Well, here I am on day 2 of the "two weeks of HELL". Our first class, Managing the Instructional Environment is really awesome. Dr. W is enthusiastic and very deep with his feelings. Anyway, really good class. The online class is pretty good, but way too much work.

It is hard for me to not want to jump in and do some work stuff. I did jump on my email and answered a few questions. I am going to go in at the end of the week for some meetings.

Today is day 3 of giving Sydney her insulin shots. This sucks! My vet sucks! I think he is feeling guilty because he won't call me back. He is probably mad because he did not get to cash in on all of the cashola I gave another vet - $430.00 for the bill. OUCH! Sydney is worth every dime though. I am just "ticked off" that I have to give her a shot every day.

I worked on some revisions for my methodology chapter this afternoon. I feel like I have accomplished a lot with the chapter, but I probably need another full day to finish it and edit it. I will soon send it off to Dr. Paul to review and send to the rest of my committee.

I am off to read three more chapters (we have been assigned three chapters a night) in my supervision book. If you start to see sentences that don't sense make, just ignore them...for some reason, I can't get things straight anymore. I think the stress is really getting to me. Both work, school, and personal.

Until next time!

Priorities

My cat has been acting very strange lately, so we took her to the vet this morning. We found out that she has diabetes as a result from a steroid injection she had 5 weeks ago for a pulled muscle. We have to give her insulin shots everyday. Watching her is tearing me apart. Sydney does not leave my side to often when I am home. So, when family emergencies occur, how do you juggle other priorities in your life, especially as a doctoral student?

I start the two weeks summer session tomorrow, and my head is not where it needs to be to go through this intense time. Right now, I am trying to write a paper that is due Tuesday. I finished 5 papers due within the next two weeks, but the one I am working on today is kicking my A$$. At the same time, I am sulking because I feel bad about Sydney. I think that when you are in this stage as a doctoral student, some of the excitement of graduating sort of goes away. I am extremely burned out physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every time I think about what I need to do to complete my dissertation in 11 months I get sick to my stomach. Working full time, taking care of a house and now a sick cat, and working on a dissertation can be overwhelming.

I guess I just need to have faith that everything will work out in the end. I can't wait until the end.

Until next time!

Meeting with Dr. Paul

I met with Dr. Paul last night (my dissertation chair). He is just amazing. Every time I leave his office I feel like I have accomplished so much in that hour or two. He challenges me to really think long and hard about what I am trying to accomplish with my dissertation. He makes a broad suggestion and then leaves it up to me to dig deep down into my gut and say what I want to say and how I want to say it. Dr. Paul has told me once before, "You have it all in your head, you just need to figure out a way to capture every detail and write it on paper." I know what I know, but I have to remember that the readers may not know what I am trying to say.

Writing a dissertation is like riding on a roller coaster - you will have your ups and downs and twists and turns as you conduct your research. With my experience, I have found that the Review of Literature Chapter (2) is the most difficult. Reading a million articles and previous studies conducted on the same research you want for your own dissertation will drive you insane. I actually enjoyed writing Chapter 3 - the Methodology. This chapter explains how you are going to carry out your research.
My dissertation is going to be qualitative and the instruments I will use to collect my data will be interviews and focus groups. I must be able to explain every little detail on how I will collect data, describe the participants, explanation of how I will analyze the data, etc.....

Here is a brief explanation of the chapters in a Dissertation:

• Chapter 1 - Introduction - Introduce your research, the significance, research questions/hypotheses - much more
• Chapter 2 - Review of Literature - the HELL chapter - what studies have been conducted on your research? You have to write about the good, the bad, and the ugly. What are some of the theories on your research.
• Chapter 3 - Methodology - what is your research design, who are your participants, how will you collect and analyze the data?
• Chapter 4 - Results - strictly results, no flub.
• Chapter 5 - Discussion - discussion of findings, recommendations, future research opportunities

This is just a quick and dirty rundown of the chapters in a dissertation. I have seen some dissertations that are 200 pages and others that are 600 pages. I am hoping my dissertation will be somewhere in the middle, leaning more toward the 200 pages.

So, when it is time to pick a Dissertation Chair, make sure it is someone you trust and can count on to help you through this journey. I think that your Chair makes all the difference in the world. I don't think I would be where I am today if it weren't for Dr. Paul - he is the BEST!

Until next time!

It's the Weekend

It is Saturday, 80 degrees outside, gorgeous blue skies, and I am sitting in a conference room at work (much quieter than home) and trying to get ahead for one of my classes in the upcoming summer session. I call the summer session the "two weeks of HELL" - there is that word again. Eight hours a day (2 classes) sitting indoors when it is beautiful outside. This summer we have one class on campus, and one class online. We have eight papers due in the 8 days in the online class we have this summer. I guess having an online class is better than sitting in a classroom, but I need DISCIPLINE. When it comes to the sun, all I want is to be outside. I don't care what I am doing, I just want to see the sunlight. It is hard to stay inside and work on my laptop. I could bring the laptop out to the pool, but tried it and it does not work. My screen is not sunshine friendly - can't see a damn thing. OK - gotta get back and write a personal reflection about "changes in my family" - wow - I think I can write a novel.

Until next time!

Life of a Third Year Doctoral Student

The main purpose for this blog is to write about MY journey as a doctoral student. My dissertation chair/professor, Dr. Paul, asked me to start this blog about a year ago. I regret not starting way back then, but it is better late than never. Tracking my journey through this program may help others who are going through the same pain. Pain is not the best word to describe this journey. More like HELL! (just being honest)

I am starting my third and final year in a week. The last two years have been a roller coaster for me. At first, I felt smart, then really stupid, then somewhat smart, then more stupid than George Bush...you get the picture. In my opinion, the coursework was the most difficult the first year of the program. In the second year, taking classes, completing a Practicum (mini-dissertation), and starting my Dissertation was EXTREMELY difficult.

I have been working on my dissertation for ~ 10 months now. My topic is around mentoring international students in higher education. Here is a tip: your dissertation topic must be on something that you absolutely love. I believe in mentoring and enjoy researching the difficulties international students face in the United States.

If you are interested in enrolling into a doctoral program, here are a few pointers that may help:

• Divorce your husband/wife and kids (you will never see them)
• Tell all of your friends "it has been nice knowing you"
• QUIT your job!!!!! I find this to be the biggest challenge - borderline impossible
• If you do work, be prepared to use all of your vacation time for school
• Be prepared to get fat, really FAT!
• Have a shrink made available to you at all times - you will start to hear voices in your head
• DRINK heavily when you can............nevermind, you won't have time
• Weekend partying - GONE. You will be working on your school work ALL weekend
• YOU WILL HAVE NO LIFE

I have absolutely no regrets! Seriously. I think what has helped me get through the agony is my very close friend Lorie, who is also in the program. She has been an inspiration and a blessing. I also feel that having a fantastic Dissertation Chair makes a big difference. I am very fortunate to have Dr. Paul - he is extremely intelligent and supportive.

Until next time!

The Queens

The Queens Sydney and Monet.

I know what you are thinking. I can't believe she lets her cats sit on the dining room table. We NEVER eat at this table. Actually, we never eat at any table except for the tables at all the local restaurants. If we were to have guests over to eat my fantastic cooking, I would make sure that the cats sit in the chairs.

Florence, Italy

Here is a picture of my cousin and his girlfriend on the left (Lucio - bald is beautiful and Patrizia - they live in Torino), Dave in the back, me, and Jimmy. This picture was taken in a restaurant in Florence.

Today is Jimmy's birthday - YIKES - 41 years old.

June 6, 2007

This is my first posting on my blog. I am really excited to share my journey with anyone who is interested in reading about how insane my life is. You will probably grow tired of reading about all of the daily events that occur in my life. I am an overachiever, so anyone who spends more than a week with me will want to sleep for a month.

In a nutshell, here is my insane life:

I work full time at a consumer healthcare corporation in Pittsburgh (Go Steelers). I have been employed there for eight years. I love my job, but at times, it can get extremely chaotic, and I want to jump out of the third story window that is only a few feet away from my cube. Yes, I did say cube. I should say a small box. There is more room in a bathroom stall.

I am currently working on my doctoral degree (Ph.D). I will start my third and final year (keeping my fingers crossed on the "final") in a few weeks. I absolutely love to learn anything and everything. I am a huge advocate of education and feel that everyone who is capable (that is just about everyone) should strive to the highest level of education possible. I have to admit, after going to school for five years in a row (I spent two years in grad school right before I enrolled in the doctoral program), I just about had enough with education. I can't believe I just said that. I am sure on May 10, 2008, my attitude will........probably stay the same.

My job and working on my doctorate take up about 99% of the stress in my life. The other percent is the "I have to do everything before I die tomorrow". I have taken up painting (on canvas), learning Italian through classes and CDs, constantly changing the decor in my home, photography, hiking, biking, tennis, spending time with friends, and traveling. I love to travel. I just got back from Italy. OK - a year ago, but that has been the most exciting trip for me. I have a lot of family that lives in Italy and up until last year, I have not seen some of them in 15 years. Italy is one of my favorite countries. I have been to many places and I have to say, my favorite place to visit is Europe. I would always pick an European trip over a beautiful sandy beach in the Carribbean. Did I mention I have ADD - I am constantly changing thoughts here. I am tired.

I have so much more to share, but I think I may have scared a few people away. Trust me, you will never get bored reading my entries. I will try to post often and keep it exciting.

I forgot to mention - I absolutely love cats. I have two girls, Monet and Sydney. They are the love of my life. I will post a picture once I figure out how to post one.

Ciao for now. Until next time!

Claudia